I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
