the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
