I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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