I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
