Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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