i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
