I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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