Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
