Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
