two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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