Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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