yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
