4 words: hood of his car
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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