Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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