Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
