Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
