Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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