I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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