I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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