we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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