Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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