God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize