They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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