sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
