finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
