Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Houston, we have a blender
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
