Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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