Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
