THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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