That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
