Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Congratulations! We have a period
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