Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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