I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
