Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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