Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
party gras won. party gras always wins.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
