Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
