I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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