I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
