Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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