Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
