You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just pee around me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
