I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
