Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
