dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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