Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
