I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
