fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
