I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
