he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
