I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
