he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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