I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
