Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
