Don't you send me to vm
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
