she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
