my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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