here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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