I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
