we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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