SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
