Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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