And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
