i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
