3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Sponge bath it is.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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