there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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