I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
