You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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