does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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